You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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