you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
