I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
