Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
