If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
