um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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