three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
