don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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