at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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