is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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