i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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