haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
