Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
