thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
