I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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