It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
