Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize