Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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