I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
