Sry I called you an 8
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
