what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
