Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
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