John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
