If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
