Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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