Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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