North Korea, Best Korea!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
