I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
