one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
