And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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