he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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