When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
