Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
