she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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