if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
