After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
