You're my little dorito
Yo dont text me then not text me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
