I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
