I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
