Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
