I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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