I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize