im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
