Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
