was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she smelled like a LAN party
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
