Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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