There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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