Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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