Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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