things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
