xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
