I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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