Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
