absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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