So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
