You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
