He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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