Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
