My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize