I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
