whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
