the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
