(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
